exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
