: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
