So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
