I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
