why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
