Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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