So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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