How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
