there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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