my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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