Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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