I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
