He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What a dumb baby whore.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize