I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
