i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
