Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
