Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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