first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
