normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
