I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
