He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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