i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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