And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize