Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Found the puke drawer
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
