Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
