Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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