Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
