Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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