if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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