Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
