i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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