I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
