I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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