I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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