My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
