real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
