yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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