So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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