Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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