I cockslap morals
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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