Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize