Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
