He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This house was built for laser tag.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
