wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
