Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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