If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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