i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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