i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
