Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
