i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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