ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
