I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
