jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
