Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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