She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
