she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
