I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My pussy is not your playground.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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