Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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