dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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