you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
