Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
