what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
