4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
