You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
