I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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