I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
