He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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