my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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